Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
we're so committed to being not committed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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