would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
