They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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