Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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