A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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