I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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