I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
