I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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