so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
