Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
