Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
