So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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