Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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