this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
