and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
