do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
