I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
