Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
