Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
