question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
