3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
