I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
