hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
