your room smells of hookers.
And success
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
