I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
