OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
