Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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