Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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