I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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