It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
