I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
