Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
