why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
