Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
