Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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