I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
