I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
