i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
