I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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