You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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