Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
