I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
