party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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