I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
