people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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