well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i now understand why vodka
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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