when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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