I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
