these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
