If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
