OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
